dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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