Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
worst night to have a conscience
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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