There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
