the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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