I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
There was a lot of him and a little penis
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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