What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Green mimosas i think yes
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
