I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
