I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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