quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize