Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize