people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
