dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
