for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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