Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
