at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
