OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
