i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Do vagina's smell?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
