Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize
