just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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