hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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