Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
