like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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