i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize