Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
