dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
