Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
