I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
