Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
That's when you crack a 10am beer
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
