some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
