i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
