you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
