I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
