I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
