I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
