he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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