Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My balls are so social today.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
we're so committed to being not committed
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
