his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just made my gag reflex go away.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
