she was so not down for the gang bang
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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