this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
