Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
