Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize