Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
