Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
