In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
