My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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