i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
