shes about as inviting as chlamydia
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
