I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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