U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
