Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
