I used to practice getting hit by cars.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i've created a new STD.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize