What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I want her autograph on my taint
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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