I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
