Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
