so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
