Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
