a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
